I know I've said this before.

And I'll say it again. And again. And again.

And every time I'll say it, I'll pretend I actually mean it.
But I don't.
But I can't....

Why can't the heart of one just build a barb-wired wall around its surface? Why does it have to be punctured by Cupid's aarow just to get it penetrated and bleed? Couldn't it somehow form a shutter of some kind, a shield? Or perhaps have some super power that turn it into stone instead of fragile glass? At least it'd be harder to shatter into pieces.

I really do not want to develop this. Then again, I really do not want to cringe at this feeling I have towards this person. He is such a sweet guy. We have so much stuff in common, so much stuff about our past that are similar, and we tend to get along great. So what's the problem?

Me. That's the problem.

I'm clingy. I'm naive. I'm romantic.

None of that should exist in this modern day world! No sirree! It is all about physical attraction and legal rights. Who gives a shit about the emotions that are tied & bound into all this contraption!

So what do I do? How do I terminate this feeling I have for him? How do I develop some kind of emotional response to him that doesn't involve butterflies in my tummy all day or constant day dreams? How do I get to him without getting so attached?

I don't know the answer. If anyone has suggestions, great!

I fear that I'm going to live my whole life like this....